Jumping Around: My Inevitable Demise
April 2, 2007
I have had my fingers in everything. It is my tendency to jump around from hobby to hobby, from task to task, with little or no warning, and with much undue haste. It is due to this that I know bits and pieces of more languages, both human and programming, than I can possibly count without thinking. I’ve jumped from everything to reverse engineering StarCraft to CPU scheduler design for the linux kernel to highly esoteric mathematics to Japanese to Sherlock Holmes novels.
This has always been a problem for me. Since the moment I got on the internet, my interests have hopped around without stop. Very few things I have stuck with since I was about 8 or 9 years old. But all of this is a tangent. The point of this entry is the fact that, for the first time in years its really starting to hurt.
Now, I can’t honestly say I haven’t suffered at the hands of this unbreakable habit. In the past it has caused me to wander away from jobs that paid very well, to move away from tasks that might otherwise have me as one of the most influential people on the internet today, and more. However, these are the mistakes I can live with. I can look back and say “Wow, if I would’ve done this, that probably would have happened.” Nothing is certain, and I can look forward to the future and say that I did learn from that experienced, and being well versed in almost everything is now a talent that I can claim with a decent degree of truth.
But today I’m seeing the kind of mistake I cannot live with. The kind of mistake that I can see the repercussions of off in the distance, but the near distance, and I fear them. It relates to school, and for the first time, it was not a result of procrastination. In fact, this particular assignment I did just the opposite, I started doing my research and homework right away. The problem is picking and sticking to a topic for a paper, especially on an open ended one like this one happened to be, not that that should matter.
As I worked on this paper, I would start with a topic, and begin to write my paper. Halfway through I’d decide that there wasn’t enough information in criticisms to support my point, that my point was just too vague or too specific, that I could not extract enough information to meet the length requirements for the paper, that the topic was something that was just so off the wall that it wouldn’t get the kind of grade I’m looking for. This fiddling cost me. The paper was due a while ago, while I was sick of course, but the deadline for the paper at this point is now in 9 hours.
What do I have to show? Half-developed ideas and my latest rendition of the unfinished paper. The others I foolishly scrapped (the topic of which I could write another rambling and inspection of my own psyche for), and so they are nothing but ideas. This entire weekend I knew this paper must be done, but yet is it not? Why? I can think of a thousand excuses. I could list the things that kept me occupied, that my mind jumped to, for the entire weekend. But what is the point? I flat out did not finish the paper. And I am ashamed.
Perhaps this is all a lesson that I must learn. I am disappointed that it is a lesson I am learning so late, a time where my highschool grades will show on the transcript I must submit to college. And watching the grade suffer. Ugh, its absolutely killing me, but there’s little I can do now. Eleven hours and fifty minutes now.
April 3, 2007 at 9:43 am
My brother had much the same affliction (if you can call it that) when he was your age. He’d latch onto something, persue it passionately, and then replace it a few days or weeks later. He even went through a StarCraft phase (playing, not reverse engineering
). I used to worry a lot about him, thinking that these tendencies would hurt him in the long run. But at about age 19, something changed. He started figuring out his life, figuring out himself. He still has “side-passions” that he rotates regularly, but he found his core. He’s sticking with it, and he’s doing really great now. I don’t worry about him anymore, and I’m really proud of him.
I suffer from that same sort of thing. Maybe not to the same degree as you or him, but I think I have some sort of understanding of what you’re going through. I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, and a hard time not understanding or seeking to understand the world around me. And that leads to the inevitable “paper is due in 9 hours and isn’t half-done” scenarios.
It gets better with time, and with maturity. I’ve learned, and continue to learn to move any personal limitations that aren’t nailed down, and respect the ones that are cemented in my self. One of the most important things to learn is how to say “no” to yourself. If you or I had a thousand lives it likely wouldn’t be enough to learn everything we want to learn or pursue everything we’d like to do. You only get one shot at this, so learn to say “no” to the things that aren’t worthy of such a limited existence, and then the things you say “yes” to will be that much more rewarding.
April 7, 2007 at 7:12 am
Are you a Gemini by any chance? All the people under this sign that I know (including myself) are often subject to this affliction (to use the term Mr. Jaquith used). Of course you may not believe in that astrological mumbo-jumbo at all.
In any case, I’m sure you’ll grow out of it. You’re young, and have the energy to have a wide and overactive attention span. As you get older, it seems focus comes more easily. If not, there’s always Ritalin. I hear marijuana does wonders for concentration as well. Heh, just kidding about those last two bits. Anyways, I hope you did well on your paper, and that high school goes well for you too. Senior year is tough.
If you’re wondering how I came across your blog, it’s actually because I was looking to ask you a question. I’m likely to be on a wild goose chase, but eh, where’s the harm in trying? A while back I came across a plugin that would count the words in a single post (with the functionality to also count the total words in all the posts written) and its author was a Robert Deaton of a false-hopes.com.
Since you came up pretty early in my Google search, I thought I might try to see if it was you. So… are you responsible for it, and if so, what your thoughts were on its continued use and redistribution? Thanks! Happy blogging.
April 11, 2007 at 12:40 am
I hope the paper worked out for you. I have also been there many times. In the grand scheme of things I hope that, like me it does not matter much and actually makes you better suited for the dynamic, ever evolving world.
Writing a paper has never been a task, I find myself well suited for. Maybe, the same is true of you. We can’t rule at everything
August 7, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Hey
I was surfing the web and i saw this site, pretty cool.
Currently im running and adult site:Wellness
k, just want to say hi
Can i link you from my site? im looking for quality content like yours. If no let me know if i can add u in exchange for a montly fee or something.
August 29, 2007 at 8:49 am
Jumping around
Robert Hello
I was just logging opto my own site when yours came up instead – the name is very similar.
What you say is most interesting also the comments received. Many people usually from a young age have the same or similar problem. That is probably a question of degree of the problem.
There is however one piece of advice I would take to task. “given time it will sort itself out”.
You seem to be very bright and are hopefully planning your future well. The sooner you fix this problem the better not some time later. The very fact that you wrote about it shows your inner intelligence is asking for guidance. Take heed and act now.
The sollution.
When it comes to your career any HR department that thinks fly by night, – flash in the pan, etc. is not going to be impressed and that or something similar is probably where the pain you are experiencing now is coming from.
There seem to be a number of things that you have over looked.The following might ring some bells, although you may reject them..
Long term planning.
Focus.
Disciplin.
Determination.
Substantial achievement.
To resolve the problem is easiest when you uncover the underlying strategy progams of thinking pathways. These are usually set at a very early age frequently quite unintentionally or quite unaware of them. Others can be genetic inheritance. Whatever, they can all be treated.
If you wish to know more have a look at http://www.asr-key.ch also my weblog robertpaul.wordpress.com or contact me direct.
October 17, 2007 at 1:13 am
Sounds like fun hey Robert?
January 26, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Hi,
Your homepage “http://somethingunpredictable.com”
is wrong! the owner is a turkish people and did sell backlinks for 70 USD/ Month
Just remove his backlinks on the wordpress page!
February 24, 2008 at 10:52 pm
I am necessary wish to find
March 6, 2008 at 4:29 am
beatifull¡
August 7, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Are you the Rob Deaton that graduated from Agoura in 79?